its christmas..

today the base was shut down for christmas
but we didn't get our break for christmas
they just give us outings
except for those from rajawali squadron
because they've won the sports carnival

so.. we made a plan to go to bkt merah resort..
with 11 cars participating the convoy
give ourselves a short getaway

yea it was fun..
when seniors and juniors mixed
forget about the damn military college
we had fun

About purple

the ugly black crow just woke up this morning..
back to reality from his wonderland..
it was in his wonderland when he met his long lost purple..
purple used to be part of his life..
but now she's so far away..
and she's changed so much..

but why he keep seeing purple in his wonderland?
whenever he came to the wonderland..
and when the story was about luv..
why it has to be purple?
why not someone else?

purple left him years ago..
and deep inside he knw that he's just not the right guy for purple..
but purple keep coming to the wonderland..
and he just cant figure out the reason why..

but back in reality..
he has to face the fact..
that purple's out there chasing her dream..
and he was never part of it..

wake up, ugly black crow..
you have your own path..
your own dreams..
your own life..
wake up..

Aidiladha break..

i left alor star on friday for penang..
it took about an hour traveling by bus to reach butterworth jetty..
then i took a ferry to the other side..
blah.. blah.. blah..
what im trying to say is..
i slept at the penang international airport..
whahaha.. it was already 2100H when i reached the airport..
but my flight was at 0730H so i asked the person at the information counter
where is the nearest hotel? and she said bout 5 mins from the airport..
by walking? she said no..

i was afraid that im gonna miss my flight
she suggested me to sleep at the airport..
so.. there i was..
sleeping on a massage chair.. lol..

i bought a few reading materials though..
1 of em is a novel,
"Eagle in the Sky" ceywah~..
but after reading few chapters,
i had this feeling;
"poyo punye crite" hahah
the reason i bought it because of the image of a fighter jet at the cover..
well its true what they said..
dont judge a book by its cover..

so i flew back to kuantan on the next morning..
i saw this family.. quite familiar..
so i spoke to the father.. when we arrived in kuantan airport..
uncle nordin.. his twin children were friends of mine..
childhood friends..
we played galah panjang.. cap selipar.. rounders
every evening with my sisters..
when i was like 5-10..
i asked him bout them..
nazim is currently working with him
at his company
while nadia is now a mother!
gosh~ been a long time..

then my parents met em
n we left the airport..
finally.. with my family..

i spent most of my time with them..
then my best buddies..
those ex-smatian..
yea im glad that we're still together..
since secondary school ntil now..
i still hang out with the same faces;
opi, ami, faliq, alimi
(hashim and others wasn't there that time)

on the morning of aidiladha
i saw 3 heads beheaded..
(not actually beheaded la)
huhuhu

n the next day.. i flew back to alor star..
damn..

An Unforgiven Sin

this morning the whole squad went for obstacles training excluding me..
and my juniors went for firearms practice for few days..
so i hid myself inside a classroom doing nothing but reading a comic..

few minutes before 1000H when i almost finish reading the comic..
i heard a voice coming from behind the place i was sitting..
"cadet!"
so i thought maybe it was one of my friends trying to scare me..
in my head in would almost burst these words-
"ko nak ape siall!!?~" without looking behind..
but i had this feeling of maybe i should play safe
so i turned back..

holy crap! its the commanding officer..
the big boss in my place..
"what are you reading?" he asked..
me - comic, sir..
c.o- let me have a look..
so he checked the comic book..
c.o- why are you here?
me- i've been excused from physical training, so i dont have to go for obstacles,sir..
c.o- what happened to you?
me- i got my left tibia fractured, sir.. so i am excused from games, sports, and physical training, sir.. including boots..
c.o- when will you be recovered?
me- probably by this month the doctor will scan my leg for progress..
c.o- well then, read something beneficial
me- yes, sir..
so he hand me back the comic book.. and he left..

then few juniors came to me giving holiday pass for the whole squad..
finally i can go home.. back to my hometown for aidiladha..
although just for 5 days..

later in the evening..
i called my mom telling her the news
and asked her to get me the tickets..
the bus ticket to kuantan has already sold out..
meaning only an option left:-
"everyone can fly"

so my sis booked me flight tickets..
firefly.. which means i have to get to penang airport because there's no direct flight from AOR-KUA..
cant believe i have to spend that much again..
but its ok because i dont get the chance to go back that often..

but my battery was low so i charged it inside the classroom for a few mins..
i felt bored.. everyone was having their sports that evening..
so i kept the hp inside my bag.. and left the classroom..
i joined few people doing push ups
and later i saw my friends were walking around the base..
so i joined them.. and then we went to the basketball court..
watching some of us playing basketball..
a cool game i must say..

then i went back to the classroom..
reached my hand inside the bag..
but the hp is no longer there..
fuck! where did it i left it?
but i still remember putting the hp inside the bag after replying my sis's message.. so.. it could be stolen.. but i dont wanna put the blame on anyone but myself..
damn it.. who stole my old-model hp? the model is no longer in the market.. and i think the price is very cheap if you sell it back..

i double checked the bag.. but still the hp is no where to be found..
and i asked my friends if they see it.. but all answers were the same..
nobody seen it..

stupid.. fortunately i have another hp.. my old nokia n-gage..
each of us have more than 1 hp here in case the administration wanted to confiscate our hp, we have a dummy.. so now im using my dummy the nokia n-gage.. but i asked a friend of mine to get me new numbers.. and i will claim my old number back during this incoming break.. damn it, i really love my nokia 3250 though my friends always told me to buy a new hp..

to the thief, if you are reading this.. please gimme back my memory card because it contains lots of precious memories with high sentimental value to me..

-LD-

Blue and Yellow

and its all in how you mix the two
and its starts just where the lights exist.
its a feeling that you cannot miss
and burns a hole
through everyone that feels it..

well you never gonna find it
if you're looking for it
wont come your way
well you never find it
if you're looking for it..

should've done something
but i've done it enough
by the way, your hands were shaking
rather waste some time with you..

and you never would have thought in the end,
how amazing it feels just to live again,
It's a feeling that you cannot miss,
It burns a hole, through everyone that feels it.

Well you're never gonna find it,
If you're looking for it, won't come your way
Well you'll never find it, if you're looking for it.

Should've done something, but I've done it enough.
By the way, your hands were shaking.
Rather waste some time with you.

Should've said something, but I've said it enough.
By the way, my words were faded.
Rather waste some time with you.

Time with you... time with you time with you
Waste some time with you... waste some time with you

Should've done something, but I've done it enough.
By the way, your hands were shaking.
Rather waste my time with you.

Should've said something, but I've said it enough.
By the way, my words were faded.
Rather waste my time with you.

Should've done something, but I've done it enough.
By the way, my hands were shaking.
Rather waste some time with you.


*to whom it may concern..

A Little Piece Of Heaven

yea.. the song you're listening from my page right now is "A Little Piece of Heaven" by Avenged Sevenfold from my video playlist.. it's kinda creepy and violent but why do i like this video so much? its because of the creative idea of how the story line of the video is..

it's about a guy who couldn't handle rejection so he decided to do such stupid psychotic decision- killing his gurl by stabbing her 50 times and ripped her heart out right before her eyes.. but he loved this gurl so much so he took care of her even though she's nothing but a dead body..
but one day, the gurl came alive from death and she did the same thing.. killing him by ripping his heart out right before his eyes..
and they both finally met in the underworld.. that's when the guy begging for her forgiveness and the gurl gave him a chance..
it was in a church where the couple get married after killing all other people inside it.. including the priest who later became a ghost as well.. showing his dissatisfaction to the couple.. and the couple live happily ever after..

the thing is.. i couldn't handle rejection myself so i decided not to make any approach to anybody for now.. but its not that i'm gonna kill that gurl after being rejected or whatsoever.. i just dont wanna risk myself with the humiliation and i dont know why.. but i know the ground i'm standing and where i belong so i know that dont deserve a goddess from the sky.. and i'm not that DESPERATE!~

my priority is my studies & career.. after the video a lil' piece of heaven is the video of RMAF 50th anniversary fly past formation by the great pilots (flying instructors) of the air force college here.. i wish i could be like 'em..
"heroes of the sky"

do pray for me, k..

-LD-

On a Day Like Today

what a day.. today is the 2nd day of study week but so far nothing is in progress..
they started to post our carry marks on the board and i found the result for my algebra 2 was so frustrating.. Prof should've understood of my current condition.. why i didn't attend his tutorial & quiz because i had another class to attend (aircraft structures).. even Capt Syzl helped me for my flight mechanics because he knows the difficulties i have to face and how it affected my studies although i thought he was the meanest lecturer there is..

its been a tough semester for me that i had walk with crutches.. climbing those stairs up to level 3 for lectures.. my movement is still limited.. its hard for me to study by myself so i need to move to other houses just to study.. damn.. because of the metal inside my left tibia, i may have lost my chance to fly(hopefuly not) but i dont wanna lose the chance to serve the air force as an officer..

and i just dont have the guts to face prof just to discuss this matter.. all i can do now is pray.. and get my lazy ass workin..

god, please give me the strength that i need..

-LD-

i can finally walk again!~

this morning i went to hospital sultanah bahiyah for an appointment..
i was accompanied by afiq and we were waiting for an hour for the transport..
he should have been with the royal thailand air force cadets..
accompanying their visit to the butterwoth air base.. but he was with me instead..
and once we arrived, we waited for almost 3 hours to see the doctor..
there were too many people..
it was then.. the doctor told me the good news..

"you can walk.. no need to rely on those crutches anymore.." she said..
yippie!! after all these 4 months, i don't have to carry those crutches anymore..
or.. the crutches carry me.. whatever!~

can i run? can i jump from 12 feet wall? can i carry log on my shoulder?
she advised me not to do so.. huhuhuhu.. which means i can still have my rest..
escaping all those military exercises.. whahaha!~

hell ya, buddy.. i am so happy right now..

-LIL DEMON-

wut the hell am i doin here!!?

hurm..!? me? writing a blog? wtf?
well actually it seems like i have nothing else to do..
then wut about studies? fuck it!!
i have a problem concentrating the lectures in class
so.. its hard for me to study by myself.. i need a tutor..
not a lecturer standing in front of the class mumbling bout nuthin
but ways to make myself sleepy..
all the calculation makes me feel like counting sheeps..
really.. during my school days i was not good in physics & add maths..
but now here i am doing engineering..

ENGINEERING!!!? what the hell!!?
well its the only course offered here at the air force college..
have to go through diploma in mechanical aeronautical engineering
in order to become a military aviator.. and a leftenan in the RMAF..
if its not because of aviation, i would've not be here..
probably having fun like my friends out there hangout with buddies,
dating, watching movies, going nowhere..

but me.. my gurl dumped me just because i cant spend most of my time with her..
it feels like im living in an other world different than yours..
trapped in a prison.. sticked with a tight daily routine..
its like a curse for generations of cadets..
dumped once we stepped our feet here..
at least that's what my seniors told me..

my interest is actually.. archeology.. i was more into history during my school days..
i enjoy reading things happened in the past.. i have this curiosity in other places history, cultures, and ancient civilization.. my friends laughed at me for spending hours reading articles in wikipedia.. does it makes me a weirdo? i dont know.. i like topics like:-
wars- nanking massacre.. D-day.. japanese occupation of malaya.. american civil war..
ancient or extinct civilization- maya civ.. machu pichu.. those written in Al-Quran.. n even Bible.. persian.. roman.. greek..
and many more..

in my past, my ambition was to be an archeologist but what about job opportunity?
so i chose to be here.. the air force college.. at least i got paid to study.. yea the government pay me monthly to finish my dip.. but i have to sacrifice my wonder years.. for the sake of my future.. hell ya!



well.. thats all for now folks..

-LIL DEMON-